Before we get started, potential big news coming over the next few weeks. It involves me, and it involves gambling. Stay tuned.
Betting on NFL Preseason is tough. It’s not necessarily difficult to find angles, but the toughest part is you gotta look yourself in the mirror with the understanding you’re putting actual currency on guys who will be working for their father’s construction business in a few weeks.
Betting on preseason football has become more and more common with the sports gambling industry set to explode. Perhaps fellas will throw a few bucks here and there on a game or two, but what kind of psycho would put money on every game of a preseason weekend?
Scroll up and you’ll find a name. It’s Erik Buchinger. Scroll down and you will find a picture of a human with a Bud Light in one hand and a toilet seat in the other. That’s also Erik Buchinger.
Yep, I’m putting all that shame aside and apologies to those of you who know me, but putting my hard-earned money on every single preseason game this weekend. All 16 of them.
And they’re all going under.
As a fan of Big Ten football, there is nothing more arousing than the site of an over/under in the 30s. I can hardly control myself, but here’s what we’re dealing with here.
Colts-Bills: 36
Giants-Jets: 35
Falcons-Dolphins: 35.5
Jacksonville-Baltimore: 31 - THIRTY. ONE.
Patriots-Lions: 35.5
Titans-Eagles: 36.5
Redskins-Browns: 35
Panthers-Bears: 35
Texans-Packers: 36
Broncos-Seahawks: 37
Chargers-Cardinals: 38
Buccaneers-Steelers: 37
Vikings-Saints: 37.5
Bengals-Chiefs: 36
Rams-Raiders: 35
Cowboys-49ers: 36
There are not enough good quarterbacks around to justify doing anything else, especially when starters play one series or not at all. As we saw last week, Matt Schaub continues to be employed as professional football thrower, which is a wild situation.
In addition, coaches do things in the preseason that would get them fired in any other scenario, and it’s because they’re not trying to win these games. When you have a fourth-and-medium in an obvious field goal situation, teams tend to go for it, leaving those three points off the scoreboard.
And I don’t care how much you claim to like football, nobody wants preseason overtime. Coaches try to avoid that at all costs, and it’s difficult to do anyways with the ridiculous scores that come out of these games.
So sit back, relax and enjoy the first full slate of NFL games in 2019 by watching the interceptions fly, ridiculous coaching decisions and try guessing how every game ended up finishing with a 16-12 score.
Blindly take all the unders, and thank me when you find yourself with another profitable weekend courtesy ya boy.
Tell the Leader of Deceptive Speed what you think of this article or what you think of him as a person. Insults are always welcome. Send your angry words to him on Twitter @ImErikBuchinger or email erik@deceptivespeed.com