Last call
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s your final chance to bet on a football game until August 24 when Hawaii takes on Arizona. Already excited for that one. Anyways, I’ve got several Super Bowl gambling winners for ya. Read all about ’em and head into the football offseason as a very rich person. Or dig yourself an even deeper hole in gambling debts.
National Anthem OVER 1:49
Gladys Knight is the national anthem singer for this year’s Super Bowl. Full disclosure, I have no idea who Gladys Knight is. Never heard the name until typing this right now. None of that matters. When you sing the national anthem in the Super Bowl, you milk that thing as long as possible. The OVER/UNDER on this thing could be 10 minutes, and I’m still hammering the over.
Tails never fails
You learned this in elementary school. Stick with what you know. Do not overthink this. Take tails on the opening coin toss and start out 2-0 before the game even starts.
First touchdown: Sony Michel
Aside from having a kick ass name, this is incredible value with Sony Michel. Sure, the Patriots have always used tons of running backs, but Michel has five touchdowns in two playoff games. Michel is the favorite to be the first touchdown scorer, but it’s still at +500. If you don’t understand that, this means if you bet $10, you will win $50. Watch Sony Michel dance around in the end zone in the first quarter, and become a rich person.
Longest score: field goal
Greg Zuerlein and Stephen Gostkowski are kicking field goals in this game. Both are very accurate kickers, and both can kick balls very far. Even if it’s just a 40-yard field goal, that should be enough to win. And if the Rams need a 65-yarder before the end of the half, you’ll be a winner.
Third quarter OVER 10.5
Halftime adjustments lead to points. Two touchdowns are coming in the third quarter.
Players with passes UNDER 2.5
Bill Belichick called a play for Tom Brady to catch a pass in last year’s Super Bowl. That was an absolute disaster, and he will never do it again. Neither will Sean McVay. Only quarterbacks are tossing passes today.
Game MVP
The way you bet Super Bowl MVPs is just bet a bunch with a ton of value. As an expert, that’s what I do, keeping in mind I have never earned money betting Super Bowl MVPs. I put money on four dudes to win the MVP.
Sony Michel +1200
Aaron Donald +1800
Aqib Talib +9000
Marcus Peters +12500
I am hoping and praying Marcus Peters gets two interceptions and scores a touchdown because if he does, he will be named Super Bowl MVP. That would land me $1,250 on a $10 bet.
Water/clear Gatorade
Having water included here is the key for which color liquid the coach will get dunked on his head. Gatorade can be sticky, and I have a feeling being sticky makes Bill Belichick angry. When he gets angry, players make the decision to switch from Gatorade to water. Sean McVay seems like a water guy as well.
Rams +3
The Rams are the most talented team in this Super Bowl. Take the Rams plus a field goal. Easy money.
Rams Moneyline
The Rams are going to win this game 28-24.
Have yourselves one heck of a Super Bowl Sunday.
Tell the Leader of Deceptive Speed what you think of this article or what you think of him as a person. Insults are always welcome. Send your angry words to him on Twitter @ImErikBuchinger or email erik@deceptivespeed.com