I am banned from Tinder for life

It’s official. Making money gambling on sports is not achievable, and anybody who says otherwise is a liar. Sports bettors are always looking for an edge on the bookmakers, and I thought I finally found the system that would allow me to profit on a regular basis and live life in luxury. Instead, I am now banned from Tinder for life in an absolutely cold-blooded move right when we were getting hot.

If you’ll recall, we had a popular series called Sexy Tinder Pics where I asked 10 girls on the popular dating app to make college football picks against the spread. Typically, the answers were “WTF” or “Really?” But then I’d explain what I’m talking about and the answers were entertaining. Sometimes they’d just unmatch me altogether, but hey if you’re not making me money sports betting, I don’t need you in my life anyways.

For the ladies who participated, they were pretty damn good at cashing college football bets. In an industry where the experts’ secrets continue to come out by the day, I thought we finally had an untapped resource - a system that could not fail and remain only ours forever because only we were doing it.

The girls finished over 55% with an absolute heater in which they picked their final six bowl games correctly in an article that unfortunately never published because I no longer had access to their responses.

I never received a full explanation why my account was banned, but I’d imagine Las Vegas caught wind of the flawless strategy and had the power to shut it down immediately. It’s a smart move on their part because I was about to bankrupt the entire city.

Sexy Tinder Pics will go down in history as the most successful sports betting + online dating collaboration of all time despite its short run. But hey, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

I since joined the Bumble train, and my first ever match with Tinder’s arch rival is now my girlfriend. No matter the platform, the fact remains chicks dig Deceptive Speed.

I will admit she’s not a great sports bettor at this point and I better see results soon. It’ll take a lot of work, but relationship goal #1 for her should be to one day be near the same level of the experts on Tinder.

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