New Trousers for Hausers

The sacrificial pants

The Hauser brothers are in Madison this weekend, and it really is up to Wisconsin as a state to keep them here. Ultimately this will come down to how much we really want it. Remember the two years the Badgers went to the Final Four? We may never see that again, are you okay with that? Of course not. In order to achieve any sort of success in life, sometimes you have to go go the extra mile and do things outside of your comfort zone.

We all need to make sacrifices as a fan base, and it will not be easy on any of us. If one of the Hauser brothers wants your girlfriend, you’re going to have to hand her over. They’re both probably much cooler than you, so at least she will be happy for once. Relationships come and go, but the Badgers are forever.

Since I am starting this campaign, I will make the biggest sacrifice as part of the New Trousers for Hausers campaign. Here it is.

The day Wisconsin signs Sam and Joey Hauser, I will commit to not wearing sweatpants until they play in their first game at the Kohl Center, which will be November of 2020.

Let that sink in.

Immediately after they sign, I will go shopping for extra pairs of jeans. There is nothing worse than shopping, and there is nothing worse than jeans. Hopefully the Hausers will see this and realize how much Badger basketball means to this state.

You might be thinking well what’s the big deal? This guy is an adult, no sweatpants shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Well, this is like quitting smoking for me. Addictions are tough to get past. I wore sweatpants every single day during college outside of the two or three days it was warm enough to wear shorts in the Wisconsin weather.

Even now after a hard day’s work of making an honest living, the first thing I do when I get back to my apartment is throw on a pair of sweatpants and get ready for one hell of a night in luxury.

This world was brainwashed at an early time that the way you dress should matter. I’ve been on this for a long time. For every single important life event, shouldn’t we have the right to be as comfortable as we can possibly be? Nope. Whether it’s a job interview, wedding or whatever else you better make sure you’re wearing a tie that nearly chokes you to death and wear shoes that give you blisters for the next month. Sweatpants weddings are the future.

The scary thing is this could happen whenever. Right as I type this, this could be the very last time I am comfortable the rest of 2019 and most of 2020. This must be what hell is like.

How will you know I’ll actually follow through with this? Honor system. Success without integrity is failure.

As a wise man who tried to turn an entire country against police officers and is considered a hero for it once said, “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.”

I believe in the Hauser brothers, and I’m sacrificing my pants. But it’s not about me, it’s not about you, it’s about bringing the Wisconsin basketball program a national title.

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