Football coaches are getting sexier

A terrifying trend

All eyes will be on Kliff Kingsbury during the NFL Draft on Thursday night. Part of the reason is he needs to decide whether or not his Arizona Cardinals should move forward with Kyler Murray as their quarterback. The other reason, and I say this as a heterosexual male, is he just might be the sexiest man in the sport.

For so many years, we had a good thing going. The good-looking fellas play football, and the fat ugly guys coach football. It worked for years with Bill Parcells, Lou Holtz, Charlie Weis, Mark Mangino, Joe Paterno, Rex Ryan, Buddy Ryan and Rob Ryan.

But somewhere along the line, we lost our way and I believe it started with Sean McVay replacing Jeff Fisher, who isn’t exactly winning any beauty pageants anytime soon.

It’s a terrifying trend that seems to pick up steam by the day. Times are changing as football coaches are getting better looking, and it’s time to take a stand for the ugly coaches out there.

The Packers fired Mike McCarthy and replaced him with a young, spry Matt LaFleur. Who’s that you might ask? He’s the man who guided the Tennessee Titans’ 27th-ranked offense last season. At least he’s young and good looking because instead of being unemployed, he leads the most historic franchise in sports.

Failure earns promotion

Through it all though, the Kingsbury situation is still the most glaring example.

In his only head coaching position, Kingsbury led Texas Tech from 2013-18. His record? 35-40 including 19-35 in the Big 12. Then he gets fired after failing to make a bowl game again and winds up as the head coach of the Arizona Cardinals. The man failed his way up to a NFL job. Incredible.

Not only that, Mike Leach, the guy Kingsbury learned from and actually won at Texas Tech, has never heard a sniff of NFL interest in his entire career.

Let’s compare resumes.

One guy invented an entirely new offense, coached for 17 years and brought two struggling programs to great success. The other coached six years and had four losing seasons.

If Leach looked like Kingsbury, he would have won a Super Bowl by now.

And it’s not just us ugly guys this new development impacts. Think of the mothers of high school recruits who were expecting to see Kingsbury in the house every now and then. Instead, they’re stuck with guys like Jim McElwain in the living room. Tough break.

Football coaches are getting sexier, and it’s just the harsh reality right now. It’s tough on all of us, but we WILL rise again because I’ll be damned if we are deprived of the next Andy Reid.

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