How to behave on National Signing Day

Welcome to National Signing Day, everybody. You probably didn’t know that’s today because there are now two of them, and most of the high school prospects already signed in December. It’s a wacky system that puts everybody in a weird position, and National Signing Day definitely lost its excitement since this change was made.

But it’s today. Kids are going to be putting hats on heads whether they fit or not, maybe we’ll see some entertaining videos or viral moments along the way.

Regardless, the kids are ready, they know what they’re about to do, they know what they’re going to say in a moment that will change their lives forever. They busted their ass for 18 years to get this far and now they get a free education and their choice of potential schools.

They’re ready for this, but are we as fans?

I’ve got the ultimate guide to help fans behave in the most college football way on National Signing Day.

Get a burner account

This is step 1. If you don’t already have a burner account on Twitter, you’re way behind college football fan bases including your rivals. Give yourself a fake name, something cool. I suggest Jack Stone. Bold. Brash. Ready to bust some heads. Make sure there are tons of numbers in the username as well, that’s important for a solid fake account. For the photo, make sure it’s either your favorite team’s logo or leave it blank.

Use the burner account

Okay, so you’ve got your burner account and you’re set for the day. Everybody hates the Twitter user who bashes the high school kid deciding where to go to school. This is where the burner account comes in. Nobody can track it, nobody knows who you are so there really are no consequences. I’d probably advise against going the threat route, I’ve gotten a few of those over time and it’s not ideal. It should be a crime, although it happens every day. Maybe stick with telling recruits why they’re making the biggest mistake of their life and ruining their future by not choosing your favorite school.

Get off the burner

Get back to your regular Twitter account and say something to the effect of, “A reminder to all fans of [your school], a kid’s college choice is none of our business, and we need to support these young, talented athletes no matter what.” It makes it seem like you’re taking the high road and gets people off the scent of what you’re actually doing. Very important.

When you don’t get the guy

You’re waiting on that four our five star recruit to make his choice on whether he’s picking your school or not. He ultimately grabs a hat of the rival. This can be done from your fake or real Twitter account, it’s really up to you. But the second, and I mean the second he picks up the rival’s hat, you IMMEDIATELY go after the opposing team, its coach and most importantly its fans.

Let the rivals know the only reason they got their recruit is because they got paid to go there. If that’s not your style, go with academics. That’s a big one that I use when Wisconsin misses out on a guy. Great football player, probably too dumb to make it in Madison (like me). The ultimate fan vs. fan Twitter fight move is to call the other “classless.” Make sure that word is used at some point in your argument. Then, convince yourself that guy isn’t any good anyways and he would’ve been a bad locker room fit.

When you get the guy

Congrats! You just landed a top recruit. For this one, you’ll want to use your real profile. Find the recruit’s tweet about his announcement and say something like, “Welcome to the family” followed by the team’s slogan. If you don’t know your team’s slogan, stop calling yourself a fan.

The tables will turn a bit from our last example when you don’t get the guy because those opposing fans will be going after your team hard. They’re already mad, and you’ll want to feed into that anger. Consider taking the high road but then remember the last time that rival school beat yours, then go for the kill. Be creative. I can’t be doing everything for you, so go after opposing teams’ fans at your own volition.

Closing time

National Signing Day is over. Take one final look at the recruiting team rankings and somehow rationalize to yourself that your team just signed the best 22 high school players in the country. Your team just did the best job it could and unless your school is ranked #1 in recruiting, discuss how inaccurate recruiting sites truly are.

This is how you tackle this annual event from a college football fan’s perspective, and we’ll do it all again next year.

Welcome to National Signing Day.

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