Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy returns TONIGHT

Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy is BACK, folks.

Like every championship team, the hard work starts in the offseason. The offseason for Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy is over, so I hope you accomplished the first step of the process, which is getting fat during college football and basketball season. It’s the biggest mistake people make with this. You can’t lose weight if you have no weight to lose.

What is Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy?

For those new to this, OBLFG is a weight loss campaign that started last year at this time. It includes an inspirational message that’s typically inaccurate but by the laws set by fellow millennials, no workout is complete without telling others by posting a quote you found on the internet for social media likes.

Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy goes from the Monday after the opening weekend of the NCAA Tournament till the first kickoff of the college football season. The idea is to begin immediately after the biggest binge eating and drinking weekend of the sports calendar. That way your weight is inflated, and you can say you lost more weight than you actually did when it’s all done with. OBLFG concludes when football starts because we’re fortunate to live in an era where calories do not count during football season.

Obviously we’re dealing with a strange set of circumstances with the coronavirus canceling everything. The 2020 Operation is slotted for March 23-August 29, and we’ll continue with that even though the NCAA Tournament didn’t happen and I refuse to read the reports that say college football season could be in jeopardy.

This actually works

I’m about to be sexy as hell by summer because I identified the only diet that works. It’s called the slow carb diet, and I followed it fairly strictly last year. You can read more about it here but basically for 6 days a week, no fruit or white carbs (bread, pasta, rice, etc.) and no drinking calories (red wine, coffee, tea and water allowed). Then once a week, go nuts and absolutely destroy yourself by eating and drinking whatever you want all day long.

I don’t care to know the science behind it, but the slow carb diet works. I combined that with treadmill, elliptical and ab workouts. I no longer have access to a gym with coronavirus, but I dusted off an old elliptical that had been collecting dust in my parents’ garage for a while. My dad planned to take it to the dump soon, but now it’s on full display in the living room of my apartment.

One man’s trash truly is another man’s treasure.

The goal

Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy resulted in a 30-pound weight loss last year. Then as soon as college football started back up, I gained all the weight back and more at an incredibly rapid rate. They will write books and maybe put out a movie to tell the story of how fast I returned to fatass form.

Set your own standards, but for me the goal for 2020 OBLFG is to lose 50 pounds by August 29. If you do the math, that’s about 10 pounds a month. After that when Notre Dame vs. Navy kick off the football season, I’ll swear off healthy eating/drinking and exercising for a few months in order to prepare myself for season 3 of Operation Be Less of a Fat Guy.