Brad Davison Chronicles: Part XXI

Erik Buchinger Posted on

Look for the Brad Davison Chronicles trickling out every day until we get all caught up. Just know I am going to be watching closely the grittiest, guttiest, deceptive speediest, Wes Welker-type, high-motored man in America and scour the internet for people who have done him dirty. You’ve been warned. Tweet with caution.

Ohh boy, do we have ourselves a doozy. Brad Davison Chronicles likely reached its peak in its 21st edition during Wisconsin’s loss to Iowa. First of all, it wasn’t Davison’s fault because he had himself a night once again with six points, five rebounds and only five fouls.

Toward the end of the game, we had ourselves a situation in which Davison was given a flagrant foul late in the game and was suspended a few days later for it. Deceptive Speed performed a thorough investigation on the testicle-smashing accusations, and we found him innocent on all testicle-related charges related to last Monday night’s debacle.

That body part Brad Davison touched on Iowa’s Connor McCaffery is called a leg. A leg is not the same as a pair of testicles. A completely different body part.

If it truly is your belief that Brad Davison hit Connor McCaffery in the groin area, you’re making the assumption Connor McCaffery’s groin area is the largest groin area in the conference and potentially the entire sport. If the groin area does reach the knee, good for him. Congrats to him on that. I’m incredibly jealous and I hope the Big Ten did their homework on that before suspending Davison.

And holy hell did Twitter go after Brad Davison.

I don’t consider what I do for a line of work to be heroic, but this is as close as it gets. Scrolling through thousands and thousands and thousands of anti-Brad Davison tweets over the span of 24 hours and narrowing it down to 10 is the most difficult job in America.

For those who made it through, you should absolutely be honored. Save the link, print out the article. You can tell your grandkids about this one day.

Thanks to all who have participated. Brad Davison Chronicles: Part XXI.

Alrighty, we’re starting out hot, let’s do this.

Have a second source? Journalism is so sloppy in 2020.

Huh???

Your profile picture shows the one time in the past 16 years Minnesota beat Wisconsin in football. Therefore, your opinion is invalid.

I was not smart enough to be a graduate of the University of Wisconsin and I blog about the Badgers on a daily basis and I have to get this off my chest: Friends is overrated as a TV show.

The power of restraint is among the most difficult skills to master as humans. Thank you.

I’ll be there. However, it is unlikely I will punch a college student while in attendance.

This isn’t just about Brad Davison, is it?

This one actually made me laugh, and I am in favor of this happening. Need a bruised nutsack go alongside Final Four banners.

Still confused by this one.

I spent a week sorting through, going tweet by tweet. Time to finally emerge from my parents’ basement.

Same time tomorrow, knuckleheads.

Photo courtesy of UWBaders.com