Dabo Swinney has me fired up to do nothing

Bad news. Bad news in personal life, bad news on the news, bad news on Twitter, bad news all around. Bad news, bad news, bad news everywhere across this beautiful planet. But then, Dabo Swinney steps in to rally the troops and give us the motivational speech of a lifetime.

HELL. YES.

This is what we need heading into the fourth weekend without sports, especially since the third weekend was ruined with Kirk Herbstreit farting directly into our mouths on a Friday. Pretty graphic, but that’s what it felt like and I tasted it all weekend.

Fun fact: Herbie’s sons play for Clemson. Listen to your coach, kids, not your dad.

The best thing we can do to stop the spread of coronavirus is sit at home and do nothing, so Dabo is basically getting us all fired up to be lazy. I’ve never needed inspiration to be a complete pile o’ shit, but that’s exactly what I’ll do thanks to Swinney’s words of wisdom.

I will circle back to this message heading into each college football Saturday this fall. When somebody doubts whether I can watch 14 hours of college football in a single day, I will remember Dabo’s words.

“This is America, man. We’ve stormed the beaches of Normandy. We’ve driven a car on Mars. We’ve walked on the moon.”

Is the Mars thing true? Whatever, I’ll be damned if I’m not finding myself right on the couch the second the college football season starts with Notre Dame against Navy on August 29.